HOLISTIC APPROACHES TO ILLNESS

HEALING ILLNESS

If you are interested in the underlying emotional imbalances that cause specific illnesses, I would thoroughly recommend you check out Louise Hay's YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. At the back of the book there is a comprehensive list of physical illnesses, their emotional causes, and positive affirmations to help clear the illness from your body. To purchase this book click here.

M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Depression

I wanted to have a section on depression on the site, as it seems to me that there are so many people suffering from this condition, that we, as a society, really need to look at this area, and see what can be done to help. It is my personal belief, that depression is your souls way of giving you a real nudge, and saying "remember, you are a spiritual being having a human experience!" I feel that depression is a wake up call, telling you that you have some inner work to do. Your soul is letting you know that you have drifted off your path, and you need to do some work to get back to your true self. It is (as every illness is) a blessing in disguise. Use this opportunity, this wake up call to make some real changes in your life. You are worth the effort!! See therapists, try different treatments and really get to know and understand yourself. This could be the opening you have been looking for, to create true peace, love and acceptance in your life. The choice is yours, but know that you are being helped, guided and supported through the pure love of your Creator.

I have asked two close friends of mine to share their very personal struggle with this disease. I cried when I read Lisa's story. We've known each other since we were five, and although I knew about her struggles with depression, living on the other side of the world, I was completely removed from what she was actually going through. I thank and admire her for her honesty in sharing her experience with me, and allowing me to post her story on here, in the hope that it might help someone else out there who is suffering.

I have just now posted Marie's story on here, after shedding more tears reading it. I feel so thankful that Rie has allowed me to share her words, her feelings and her experience with this debilitating illness. Her honesty and acceptance is inspiring. Please remember that if you are suffering from depression, there is help available to you. You are not alone.

To go to Healing Therapies click here.

Lisa's story

My name is Lisa and there have been times in the past few years I've wanted to kill myself. Depression can do that to you. It completely changes the way you think, and you can see no way out of the blackness that has enveloped your world. So ending your life can seem to be the only way out of the situation.

I call myself a post-natal depression (PND) survivor, and that describes me perfectly. I have endured and survived 5½ years of pure hell. Someone once described being depressed as like trying to move through honey. Everything is much harder to do. Sometimes I don't know how I got out of bed in the morning. If I hadn't had to look after my kids, I don't think I would have worked so hard to get better. Depression completely consumes you, everything seems hopeless, and you can't see any way of getting out of the black pit. But of course you can get out and be well again. I look back at this dreadful time in my life and can't comprehend how I ever felt that way. It messes with your mind in a physical way. It is a physiological disease, and I get very angry when people dismiss how debilitating it is.

I discovered I had depression when my first child was 5 weeks old. I was lucky it was picked up so early as I have met people whose own depression wasn't discovered till their baby was 1 year old! Oh, how they would have struggled. My son had feeding problems at 4 weeks old and a 2 night stay at the local hospital to sort it out was a blessing in disguise. The nurses on the ward were concerned I might be a bit depressed and urged me to see a doctor. When I finally got there and told the doctor my story, I was completely shocked when she agreed that yes, I was experiencing PND, and it was quite a bad case (She's since told me she can still remember that day I first walked into her office because of how sick I really was, and congratulates me on my bravery for speaking up). She prescribed antidepressants immediately and organised for me to see a psychologist ASAP. During my counselling sessions, we discovered I had actually developed the depression during the pregnancy and it hadn't been picked up. I was incredibly lucky to find this GP and I firmly believe I am still here today because of her and my wonderful psychologist.

The combination of the antidepressants and the psychotherapy worked for me initially, and after a few months I was feeling slightly better. I still didn't feel connected to my son though until he was about 10 months old. I remember driving in the car and looking back at him and thinking "Oh my, you are my son, and I do love you dearly!" That was the first time I could remember actually thinking that way about my beautiful baby. I was very disconnected from him. In the beginning it was all I could do to feed and change him, and get him to sleep. If he cried and I couldn't console him, I would get a hot flush, break into a cold sweat, get a ringing in my ears and feel like I wanted to jump out of my skin. He was a dreadful sleeper, and the sleep deprivation didn't help me at all. I was also having waking visions of accidentally dropping him, or loosing my balance and standing on him while he was on the floor. These visions were quite real and terrifying. Sometimes people would talk to me and I could hear what they were saying, but couldn't process and understand it, or I wasn't physically able to respond. I would try to talk, but nothing would come out. It was very frustrating. I wasn't looking after myself either. One thing I've learnt during all this time is how critical it is as a mother to look after yourself. Get as much sleep as you can, and doing nice things for yourself or allow nice things to be done for you. It is just so important. In most families, the mother is the central figure, and if she's not happy, the whole family suffers.

Things seemed to be picking up by the time Tom was about 14 months old. I was adamant I wasn't having any more children because of the hell I'd already been through, and I didn't want to put my husband or son through all that again. Then I discovered I was pregnant again. As with my first pregnancy, I discovered I was pregnant at work. I'm a radiographer you see, and as my period was late, I asked a sonographer to just have a quick look with their ultrasound machine to see if I was pregnant. And both times, there on the screen, was the unmistakeable presence of the yolk sac that was to change my life.

Both times my initial response was "I don't want this, I want an abortion". I know that sounds absolutely dreadful, considering I was in my thirties, married, and had a great paying career. Now I wouldn't trade my two kids for anything. But at the time, it was how I felt. The first time I proceeded with the pregnancy for my husband, who was overjoyed. Also I think I did it for my parents. They never pressured me into having kids, I just knew how excited they would be to have a grandchild. So my first big mistake in terms of the depression was deciding to have a child for others. I didn't do it for me. I felt a lot of resentment toward my husband for how much my life had changed and how little I perceived his life had. His life changed in a way that placed more pressure on him to provide financially for us. He really felt that pressure strongly, and I was completely unaware of his suffering due to my own. My psychologist helped me to change the way I thought of situations, and after so many years of working with her to do that, I can now do it with very little effort at all. I'm not even conscious I'm doing it sometimes.

Anyway, with the second pregnancy, I had to see an obstetrician to find out if I could medically proceed with it, as I was on three different types of medication due to complications I'd had with the first pregnancy. I was on the antidepressant, and also bromocriptine to dry up the milk my right breast had started producing 8 months after I'd finished breast feeding, and Di-tropan for my weakened bladder as I was incontinent as well. I had a lot of medical problems associated with the PND, and that of course didn't help. We determined that the risk to the foetus was extremely minimal, but I had to come off the bromocriptine and Di-tropan. I was then able to decide to continue with the pregnancy myself. It was strange, but I came out of the doctor's office elated. I was able to make the choice to proceed or not, the choice hadn't been taken away from me. I decided to proceed, but again I didn't do it for me. I did it for my husband and Tom.

Things were OK until about 15 weeks into the pregnancy. I started to fall into the black hole again, but managed to hide it for about 2 weeks. During this time I would only eat breakfast in the morning and have some dinner with my husband at night. I wasn't eating anything else. I don't know how I did that. I still wonder how on earth I ignored that pregnancy hunger. I lost weight in this time and weighed less than I had before I got pregnant. It all came to a head one evening when my husband came home from work to find me in bed and my son fending for himself. My son, who was only 17 months old, had been left to his own devices pretty much all day. I had fed him, changed his nappy when it was needed and put him down for a sleep, but the rest of the time he'd spent watching DVD's or TV while I'd dozed, first on the couch in the lounge room, then in bed. The house looked like a bomb had hit it. The dishwasher was full with dirty dishes, but it hadn't occurred to me to turn it on. The bin was overflowing with rubbish, but it hadn't occurred to me to put it out. Tom was all "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" because all he wanted was some interaction with someone. Mark started yelling at him to be quiet, because he was already yelling at me about what the hell was going on. I told him to stop yelling at Tom because all he wanted was someone to play with. He'd been brilliant that day, and I couldn't tolerate Mark berating him because all he wanted was a hug. The incredible thing about all this was that I was prepared to go to work the next day (I was working 2 days a week at this stage). Mark said if I can't look after myself or our son, what the hell was I doing going to work? And he was right. He rang in sick for me and told me to see my doctor the next day. That night in bed, I wanted to die. I figured that if I was dead, then all this dreadfulness would end. I then thought how would Mark and Tom feel if I did die, and I didn't care. That rang alarm bells for me the next morning when I was pondering it. I told Mark before he went to work, and his face fell, and he gave me a big hug and told me he didn't want me to be dead, and he didn't think Tom would like it either. I saw my GP that morning and we organised for my first (of three) stays in the Albert Road Clinic in Melbourne (thankfully we had private health cover).

The Parent Infant Unit (PIU) at Albert Road is brilliant. At the time, I felt very safe there, even though everything they made me face was extremely difficult. They take up to 8 mums at a time, partners can stay, and babies up to 18 months old can stay with you too. I was 18 weeks pregnant with Kate, and Tom was almost 18 months old when we first arrived. I ended up staying for 3½ weeks that first time. I saw a psychiatrist 3 times a week and we did different psychotherapy groups morning and afternoons with the psych and maternal health nurses. I learnt so much from these wonderful people, and from the other mums as well, but it was a hard time because we lived an hour away, so we only saw Mark on the weekends. Tom loved it because there was always someone to talk or play with, and if I needed a rest, the nurses would take him for me while I had a nap. Once we were discharged, things were much better, and apart from having to give up work a lot earlier than planned (it was decided it was an added stressor I didn't need) the rest of the pregnancy went OK until about 1 month before I was due.

I ended up hospitalised for 2 days with what turned out to be asthma about a month before I was due. It was a bit scary because until they determined what it was, I was having these strange periods where I couldn't get my breath. I know there was a bit of stress involved in all this too. Then 2 weeks later I was in hospital again in agony - kidney stones!!! They say giving birth is similar to kidney stone pain (renal colic), and I've experienced both, AND at the same time!! It was my second time with stones, the first had been some 15 years previous, and they'd been removed. This time it was thought they'd been caused by all the pregnancy supplements I'd taken during both pregnancies. I've had recurrences since then, so I can't take any supplements anymore. Renal colic is actually worse than labour, because at least when you're in labour you get a rest in between contractions!! The renal colic I experienced was continuous and didn't let up until I was given pethidine. Out the window went my "No Drugs" birth plan! After 5 days of this, they decided to induce me. Kate was born about 36 hours later, 6 days early and anaesthetic free as they couldn't find an anaesthetist to do an epidural. My god, Kate's birth was traumatic!! Then 10 minutes before I delivered they decided to give me some more pethidine to help with the pain, but it didn't do anything, and the poor thing had to be given Narcan when she was born! I felt so relieved when it was over, but also very guilty about the narcotics. But it had been out of my hands - my husband told me later that the obstetrician had been beside herself because she couldn't get anyone to do the epidural and I was in so much pain. Anyway, Kate was born, and for the first 5 months it was smooth sailing. She was sleeping through the night from 12 weeks. She was the baby I'd ordered when I first got pregnant with Tom. Then the antidepressants stopped working.

The next 6 months were hell. My GP changed my meds three times during this period because none of them were working. This can happen with antidepressants. They can work perfectly for a period of time, then just "peter out". Some antidepressants work fine for some people and not for others. She finally sent me to another psychiatrist at Albert Road (the one I'd seen previously had left). I started seeing her when Kate was 11 months old, and we didn't get my meds right until I started another stay in the PIU when Kate was almost 13 months old. I had resisted going in, because I knew I could only take Kate with me, and during my first stay I'd seen how hard it had been for other mothers with older children left at home. I felt I was failing my family. During all of this my mother-in-law had been amazing, and was able to come to the house and stay for some of the 2½ weeks Kate and I were away. The day before I went in, I had a surgical procedure to insert a urethral sling in my pelvis to help with my urinary incontinence. In hindsight, I should have delayed that procedure and focused on getting my head straight. I was sore and irritable when I was admitted, and wasn't supposed to do any lifting or anything too active for at least 2 weeks. Kate, who was a brilliant sleeper still at home, became very unsettled, and it would sometimes take me an hour to get her to sleep at night. I was beside myself, very angry because I didn't really want to be there, and blaming everyone else about Kate not sleeping. It wasn't until someone pointed out that she was in a strange environment, and that I wasn't being a very nice person that I stopped railing about being there, and started letting them help me. Kate then started sleeping better. I did get quite sick though. I developed a very nasty urinary tract infection that eventually needed IV antibiotics. Because the clinic is a psychiatric facility, they didn't have the means to treat me physically, and so I was transferred back to the hospital I'd had the procedure in. Then after they cleared me, I went home. I continued seeing the psychiatrist on a fortnightly basis, and participated in a weekly day session at the clinic with Kate for the next 6 months. I felt I was slowly becoming the person I'd been before I'd had Tom. Oh, how wrong I was!!

For the rest of that year, my husband and I saw the psychiatrist as a couple and sorted out some major problems. It wasn't until the end of the year the doctor decided to bring up how I'd left the hospital. It was funny because I'd actually been thinking about the same thing during that week. Some major issues were still unresolved and we started actually dealing with those. When we stopped seeing the psychiatrist, we were all in a good place. I was still on medication and wasn't going to worry about coming off it until I'd been well for at least 6 months, longer if possible.

That year was a pretty tough year. My husband & I started having problems again, and he said he was leaving a few times. Instead of going back to the shrink, we battled on, on our own until, by the end of that year, my head was a mess again. The medication I'd been on for about 2 years stopped working, so I had a choice to make. Come off the medication and start a new one, or come off medication completely and see how I went. I decided to go back into the hospital for a medication change, but because Kate was almost 3 and Tom was 4½, I couldn't have them with me. I was truly suicidal at this point, actually planning how I was going to kill myself and end all the pain. In my mind, my family would be better of without me because I was a crap mother and an awful wife. My work was suffering too - it was all I could do to get there twice a week. So into the hospital I went for a third time. The shrink was right in pointing out we should have come to her sooner, and maybe things wouldn't have gotten to the stage they did. I came off the medication and on day 4 med free, I woke up with this amazing clarity, something I hadn't felt for soooo long. I decided I wasn't going to get on the antidepressant roller coaster again, and give no meds a try. My shrink was a bit wary of this, but I assured her that if things got out of hand again, I would start the new medication straight away.

Well, it's been 18 months now medication free, and although I've had a few dips, I finally feel I am the person I was before the kids came along. I'm Lisa again, and I have two absolutely amazing kids. They are 4½ and 6. Tom is in Year 1 at school and doing beautifully, and Kate is in 4 year old kinder and can't wait for school next year. Last year was our best year since the kids, and this year is shaping up as even better. The two dips in mood I've experienced in the last 18 months were bad, but not awful. Both times I couldn't pinpoint the trigger, but within 2 weeks, I was much better. I see my psychologist at these times, and she reminds me of all the things I need to do to stop the downward spiral. She's taught me so much over the years. Here's some of the things she's taught me:
" The word "should" is not a helpful word. Throw it out of your vocabulary.
" Ask for help when you need it. No one is going to think less of you for it.
" Look after yourself, because if you're not happy, no one in the family will be.
" Look for the positives in any situation, don't dwell on the negatives. Acknowledge and accept the negatives, but move on from them.
" Sometimes all your baby or child needs is a hug.
" When it comes to stopping a toddler from doing something they shouldn't, distraction is the key.

Overall, she's helped me change the way I think about things, and it's become second nature now. I think that's why my last few bad times haven't lasted very long. I do worry for my children though in terms of mental illness. Through all of this I believe my own mother had PND after her third child was born (my brother & I remember this time well, even though we were 4 & 3) and because it was the 70's, it wasn't a recognised problem and she has never been treated for it. My brother and 2 sisters have both suffered from depression and other mental health issues. My husband's mother experienced depression after her marriage broke up. Even my father had a depressive episode a few years back triggered by work pressures. There is a strong genetic predisposition to my children developing some sort of mental illness. This really worries me, but as it has been pointed out, I am well equipped to recognise a problem, and know how to get help for them if this ever did occur. My children have been through hell with me, and I am amazed every day at how wonderful they are. I hope they never experience what I have, but I will be there for them if they ever do.

I've learnt a lot about myself in these past 6 years. I feel I've come out the other side a stronger, better person. I still suffer from social phobia occasionally, and I feel I now have slight cognitive problems, but I work through them. I don't think I'd be the parent I am today if it wasn't for all the advice my psychologist gave me. And I would never have met her if I hadn't been so unwell. I'm not a perfect parent, is there such a thing? We all do the best we can. I've been through an incredible experience and survived. With my sense of humour intact. I've been through 5 different medications, 5 ½ years of depression, 6 years of psychotherapy, 3 hospital stays, and have 1 wonderful husband and 2 beautiful children. I wouldn't swap the end result for anything!!

Marie's story

Depression - A Journey towards Acceptance

There are many dimensions to my life but I would say that the most troublesome and my least favourite is my depression. The reality is that it can be said I have a history of mental illness. To others reading that sentence it may seem a rather harsh way of saying it or at best a blunt description of my illness. However for me it is about no longer shying away, laying down the bare facts and symbolic of how far I have journeyed towards acceptance in this area of my life. As early as the beginning of this year I could not have even contemplated writing that sentence let alone think about sharing my words with others. The sense of release is liberating but more of that later. Right now I would like to rewind back to the beginning so I can chart my journey to the place I find myself in today.

My experience of depression takes me back nearly 14 years to what in hindsight I am able to recognise as my first down hill slide into this mental disorder. At the age of 20 with a 6mth old baby, my unbalanced hormones, the death of my much loved Nan and surviving within an abusive relationship, I encountered the first challenge to my mental health. Having had no previous knowledge or experience of depression I found myself bewildered by my increasing dark thoughts and feelings. Trapped by my own ignorance of the matter I never contemplated seeking professional help. It didn't occur to me to mention anything to my health visitor, instead I struggled through each day and night bouncing from one situation to the next, reacting instead of feeling. Scared by my own responses I never let anyone know how awful I felt, instead I translated my inability to cope with everyday situations in to personal failings. I began to believe that all the things my partner at the time said were true, that I was worthless and nobody else would want me. I spent days in a complete haze going through the motions of how I thought I should be living my life, looking after my son and trying to hold myself together. To this day I don't know how I did it but eventually I began to surface and I was able to pull myself back up leaving only traces of what had happened within myself. However I think that these traces then lay dormant just waiting for the next time when the circumstances and situations in my life provided the trigger it needed to rise up and engulf me once more. On reflection I spent the following 4 years inhabiting a world of highs and lows. At this point I can hear people say 'well isn't that just life, part of taking the rough with the smooth?' However for me the degrees of separation between the two states were huge. The highs I encountered were almost unnaturally high taking so much energy to sustain that they would inevitably end in a downward spiral to rock bottom. During these high periods I would throw myself in to projects, doing things at 100mph and be full of plans for the future literally bouncing around on the balls of my feet with energy. At rock bottom I would struggle to see the point to anything and would sit staring into space without seeming to form any thought patterns at all, almost robotic in my actions and tasks. I would find myself in a pit of darkness and despair where every way out seemed like a closed door and the effort required to find a way through was like wading through thick mud. Exhausting and debilitating to the point that giving up was by far the easiest option. Once again I am not sure how I found my way through these dreadful times, maybe it was just sheer will to make it for my boys or maybe it was a guiding presence that carried me, what ever it was it would be another 2 years before I received medical assistance.

Self -esteem issues compounded by my disastrous personal relationship was the final catalyst that led me to my GP and what I call my first 'official' diagnosis. The stress of ending a 10 year partnership and the acrimonious period that followed were the triggers for this particular foray into mental chaos. I carried myself through the initial period but strangely enough it was just when there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel I fell apart, I truly felt that I fractured into pieces that I couldn't put back together. Unable to function properly, make simple decisions or find any enjoyment from my surroundings I once again found myself on a familiar treadmill, only this time the feelings seemed to be intensified. I found myself going without meals because I couldn't even decide what I wanted to eat so it was easier just not to bother or I'd find myself on the verge of tears in the local shop because it was too hard to choose what bread to buy. I would wake each morning with a sense of dread for what lay ahead. The prickly sweaty feelings I got at the thought of having to converse and exchange greetings with colleagues on the way in to work. Wondering how they would react if I responded to their asking 'how are you?' by saying 'well actually today I'm thinking about killing myself'. In my mind I would weigh up what people would feel if I wasn't there or how many tablets would be enough. The strange thing was that although I had these thoughts, I didn't want to die, I just wanted everything to stop, I wanted my mind to stop, to be free of the dark that was pushing me down and down. I had a peculiar sensation of being totally detached but somehow still present in the world. Watching people's mouths move and realising they were talking to me but having no idea what they were saying or how to formulate a reply. It was during this period that I really did think I was going mad. I can remember staring at the hoover for about 5 minutes because I couldn't think how to empty it. It sounds such a little thing, but it was so scary to find myself unable to remember such a simple task I had done hundreds of times. I look back now and often wonder how I managed to hold down my job yet be unable to function on other simpler levels. How on a Sunday I could be literally sliding down the wall howling with total despair then on the Monday morning be heading off to the office pretending nothing was wrong.

All of these and many more feelings are what pushed me to seeking help from my GP. A 6 month course of Prozac, 6 sessions of NHS counselling and I was once again set to make a comeback, acquiring the label of 'clinically depressed' along the way. Although initially relieved to finally be able to put a name to the way I felt it wasn't long before I became secretly ashamed of my illness. I would spout the 'it's only like any other illness' line but deep down I felt disappointed in myself and embarrassed to be a sufferer of depression. I felt that if someone was looking at my life from the outside they would be baffled as to why I was depressed. I had left a bad relationship, I had two wonderful boys and a fantastic boyfriend, and things were on the up. I had feelings of being ungrateful for my life and selfish that I couldn't seem to appreciate what I had got. Looking back, I think I felt the way I did because deep down I didn't feel worthy of this lovely new life. I was still carrying with me a deep fear that I really was useless and it would only be a matter of time before everyone would realise this and it would all go wrong. I think that not addressing these feelings led to a delay in my acceptance of my depression and in the long run I feel that it hindered my recovery from future episodes.

In the past 4 years I have fought many battles with my own state of mind. Denial was my amour of choice. I felt that if I ignored the signals and warning lights that a depressive episode was on the cards then I could some how deny it the chance to get a foothold in my life. I would chant in my head over and over 'I'm not going there again, I won't go there again' by not acknowledging the downward spiral of my thoughts and moods I could slam the door shut and keep my illness at bay. Well that method certainly didn't work in the long term. Suppressed, the feelings internalised, increasing in intensity, quietly accumulating like black clouds in my peripheral vision until I was forced to admit defeat and like a wounded soldier trudge off back to my GP for yet another prescription to pull me out of the black hole. By this stage I was totally demoralised by my illness that I think this compounded and prolonged each episode. Each time it happened I couldn't believe it but eventually was forced to accept it had and here I was again. I had almost resigned myself to a future life of taking medication. However as time has gone on I have become less inclined to travel the conventional route of prescribed medication. I am not saying that this is the right decision for everyone as I believe that medication has a rightful place as a valid treatment for mental health disorders. In some cases medication is necessary to sufficiently raise a person's mood so that they are capable of evaluating alternative options. In my case I found that my usual prescription (Fluoroxetine) was no longer working for me and after experiencing negative side effects from a change in medication I decided enough was enough and began to look at alternatives.

I have been fortunate that a college course I am taking has personal counselling sessions as a compulsory component and through this I have found a therapy that I would have otherwise put to one side for reasons such as cost and time. I have had to find the time to explore and examine deep personal issues and this has proved to be the key to my own personal life puzzle. Through exploration in a safe and secure environment I have been able for the first time in my life, to reflect on myself and my illness. I began a journey that has led to enormous personal growth and development. I have learnt to be kinder to myself, accepting my flaws and being less critical of what I perceived to be my failings. This has helped me to gain a greater level of self worth. A part of this new found level of worth and self awareness has helped bring me to the place I am in today. A place from where I accept my depression as part of me. I no longer see my illness as something to be ashamed of nor do I feel it is a failing to let myself go in to the darkness it brings with it. I have begun to allow myself to feel everything depression brings to me. Through my counselling I have reached a point where I no longer want to suppress or mask what I am feeling but have gained a desire to seek and explore the underlying issues that were causing my symptoms. I feel that by beginning to examine these areas I have begun a process of healing. I believe that my illness has been caused by damage to my inner self, if you like my soul. Negative life experiences both past and present have been the underlying elements of my suffering. These elements were waiting to be triggered by external factors such as stress or bereavement. I also believe that once these had been triggered and I had suffered my first episode it became easier over the years for my mind to make the connections and take me down that path time and time again. Today I feel that by starting to heal my inner self I am giving myself the chance to develop coping mechanisms which enable me to deal more effectively with some of the internal factors that have been my triggers such as self esteem issues. I am able through visualisation exercises to minimise the effects of my negative thought patterns and to enjoy social occasions more. It doesn't always work, some days I look at a photo of myself or think about myself with despair but other days I can look objectively and like what I see.

As individuals we are unique so therefore experiences of depression will vary from person to person, whilst there maybe some similarities and shared symptoms with others I feel that the effects of this illness will depend on a person's circumstances and make-up. It is for this reason I am reluctant to ever give any advice on how best to deal with depression. What works for me may have no affect what so ever for somebody else. All I can say is explore your options and find out what treatment works for you and trust in yourself. It will more than likely be a period of experimenting until one day you find the key that enables you to begin to put the pieces of your life puzzle together.

It would be the perfect ending if I could say that the progress I have made has prevented me from becoming depressed. It hasn't but what it has done has allowed me to acknowledge, accept and incorporate my illness into my life. At the beginning of this year I suffered a relapse that would have previously sent me seeking out yet another prescription but instead I allowed myself not in a joyful sense, but with trepidation to embrace my depression. I let it in as opposed to pushing it away. The result wasn't pretty, the dark negative feelings and thoughts that are all too familiar to me carried me down my well worn path to that overwhelming dark place .Yes I felt despair but I allowed myself to feel it and trusted in myself to find a way through. I cried , I raged and I wrote it down ( Something I believe is another effective therapy). I wrote down everything I was feeling or thinking no matter how dark or irrational it seemed at the time and eventually after a period of about a week I began my climb back up towards a more positive frame of mind.

This way is something I have found that has worked for me, it may not be for everyone, and I am not trying to dispense advice. I am simply sharing my experiences in the hope that it may help somebody else travelling a similar road as me. There are many alternative ways through depression that can be explored and I believe it is a matter of finding the one that fits. I realise that not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to afford the time and money and these external factors can place limitations on a person being able to experiment and explore all avenues open to them. However there are still many ways forward, one is to read some of the array of self help books that are available. I have discovered some to be really beneficial and have found that if something doesn't strike a cord then move on to another until you find something that does resonate within you. In terms of counselling there is free short term sessions available through GP referral and through some work places. There may also be other alternative therapies available through these channels. Another effective method of therapy is relaxation and meditation techniques. These can be done in group sessions or individually either through classes, with a therapist or simply at home with a CD. There are many alternative therapies for consideration some of which can be found on this website and the chances are if you are reading this than you will have some interest in exploring this area. I hope that where ever you are on your journey, you discover what works for you.

WITHIN THE UK

For more information, or to get help with depression click here.

For more information, or to get help with post natal illness click here.

WITHIN AUSTRALIA

For more information or to get help with depression click here.

Cancer

This is one illness that has probably effected everyone you know in some way. It is an horrific and often fatal illness that literally eats away at the effected person.

As mentioned in previous parts of this website, whatever we concentrate on, and hold as beliefs, is what we will attract to us. That is the Law of Attraction. When we take on a belief, it literally becomes part of us (through our energy meridiens), and then that in turn translates into our DNA and thus finally our physical body. Illness starts in the underlying energy body through distortions in our blueprint, then flows forth to manifest in our body. Western medicine generally treats the physical body, so therefore is treating the symptom of an illness, and not the underlying cause. To eradicate illness, you must get to the underlying problem - and correct the imbalance. The energy grids will then inform your DNA of the new blueprint, and thus your physical body will then reflect this information. You cannot cure a disease by working from only the physical. All aspects of our being must be incorporated into the healing.

Cancer, generally, is long held resentment/anger/unforgiveness in the energy meridiens. Just as anger and resentment 'eat away' at you, so too does cancer literally eat away at the physical body. It only does this as it is instructed to by the energy patterns within. In order to eradicate cancer and any illness in the physical body, you need to get your energry meridiens sending some new, uplifting messages!

One reason that some forms of cancer can 'run in families', is that we all take on certain energy patterns of our ancestors. I have worked with many clients, whose family patterns become obvious during readings. One family pattern might be guilt, another anger (of a particular sort), or yet another abandonment. So as well as your own belief patterns effecting your health, you also have a general 'family blueprint' that could well be effecting your physical body without you being aware of it. The good news is, that once you start going deeper and actively changing your energy vibration, these patterns can be erradicated for good - and stopped from being passed down to future generations.

I do not pass on any emails that ask us to remember cancer in any way. I was horrified recently to have an email sent to me about particular colours that had been asigned to cancer!! Why on earth would anyone want to glorify and draw attention to this terrible disease by actually giving the different cancers individual colours. Remember, whatever we think about - we manifest. Instead of concentrating on such a negative energy, why not put your attention instead onto good health, abundant energy, and a vibrantly glowing body. We now have so many causes and charities dedicated to ANTI negative energies/events, that of course we are actually seeing more of these negative things manifesting. The Law of Attraction works very simply. It does not distinguish between anti or pro. It simply works on the thing that is being concentrated on. These charities and fundraising events do such important wonderful work - I just wish that we could see more with the names PRO Abundant Health, or PRO peace, rather than the ANTI slogans that most charity organisations run with. I urge you, to take this onboard and spread the message of being positive, and working towards what you really want, not what you don't want.

To go about creating your abundant health and vitality, please visit the pages on healing to find out which therapies you think may help you. If you are prepared to do the inner work, and clear the energy disturbances held there, you can and will create positive health changes in your life. Click here for more information.